The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
May 1995
Jay Leno: My next guest plays FBI Agent
Fox Mulder on the scariest series around, the hugely popular "X-Files." Please
welcome David Duchovny.
(Audience wildly applauds and screams. DD seats himself as women are screaming
and hollering. As he sits, he hands James Woods some money.)
JL: What a difference a decent haircut
makes, it's unbelievable.
(in reference to James Woods' buzz haircut compared to DD's)
David Duchovny: Actually, I just paid
him for NOT doing my hair.
(female audience members are chanting "David.")
JL: Congratualtions on all your success.
Now, you were just in New York?
DD: Yes, I was in New York. Actually,
I was visiting my mother. She told me not to tlak about her on the show.
So...sorry. (Laughter) But my mother, she...whenever I do a show, she uh,
she wants to know if uh, I get killed or if I get naked. (at the word "naked"
audience starts screaming)
JL: She won't watch?
DD: She won't watch if I get killed or
if I get naked.
JL: Well, you've been in a lot of movies...
DD: ...so if I'm ever killed naked I'm
in trouble with my mother. (Racuous laughter from audience)
JL: Well, you know, I used to wonder
about this because I used to watch you in "Twin Peaks" and I enjoyed it.
(Audience applause in appreciation)
DD: Did you enjoy
it?
JL: Yes, I did. Tell me if you uh...well
you remember, you played the cross-dressing detective.
DD: I have no recollection of
that.
JL: Oh really? I happen to have--David
Lynch is a friend--he sent me a piece of tape. Take a look.
DD: I don't know what you're talking
about.
(**Clip of DD in drag fom "Twin Peaks" with Kyle McLaughlin as Agent Cooper.)
Dennis/Denise: Coooooop
Agent Cooper: Dennis?!?
Dennis/Denise: It's a lone story but
actually, I prefer Denise if you don't mind.
(Audience applauds and screams, etc.)
(**James Woods slides to the far end of the couch, away from DD, after viewing
the clip.)
JL: What did you're mom think?
DD: Uh, mom...she actually thought I
looked thin. (Laughter)
JL: Oh really? Did she think of you as
the daughter she perhaps never had?
DD: (laughs) No, no she has a daughter.
JL: Oh, she has a daughter. So she really
doesn't need another one. Now, how was it wearing those, I mean, how hwas
it doing those scenes? (at this point, James Woods has moved back to his
seat next to DD)
DD: Well, you don't realize this as a
man. Men get to wear pretty much loose fitting clothes. Um, women are tortured;
they're wearing tight bras... (Female audience members react with support
and he then raises one fist in the air ala Malcolm X)...you know, every actor
needs a crusade. This will be mine.
JL: Yeah, well, getting women out of
those tight bras? (Laughter)
DD: No, no. I was... I was...I would
end up at the end of the day with these wire-framed bra lines and the panties
were just really painful, they'd just go up into areas...I'm sure you know
what I'm talking about (to James Woods). (Laughter)
JL: Did you ever play a woman, Jimmy?
Did you ever do that in a movie?
James Woods: Uh, I...I...I really refuse
to answer that question. (laughs)
DD: Well, if you notice, at least he's
moved a little closer.
JW: I'm back, now that I know his bra's
off.
JL: (To DD) You know, your show is hugely
popular through out the world... (Female members of the audience
scream)...certainly in the back row. (more screaming)
DD: A friend of mine just got back from
France and he watched they show and they dubbed it in French and my character
doesn't really have any interest in women--on the show--but in France, he
tells me that goes against national character. So what they do is, that can't
dub in a new word when my mouth is closed but when a woman walks by, you
hear this, "Mmmmm." (Laughter) It's completely not in the show, just in France--a
woman walks by, "MmmHmmm."
JL: They're certainly compensating for
something over there.
DD: (continuing) "OooHoo," "OooAhh."
JL: Well, the kid that plays you as a
child, I mean he really does look like you.
DD: Well, he looks like me NOW, he doesn't
look like me as a kid and his mother came up to me to show him off to me
'cause I hadn't met him and she goes, "You know, we think you look so much
like him." I said, "Well, he doesn't actually look so much like me." and
she said, "And since he's done the part, his nose has grown." (laughter)
And I said, "Thank you very much and keep me posted on all his other appendages
as they grow." (More laughter)
JL: Let me ask you, this is a personal
question.
DD: Yes.
JL: Is that the same suit you had on
when you did Saturday Night Live?
DD: (Feigns embarrassment) Oh, yes it
is, actually. And when your on Saturday Night Live, they have to change very
quickly so this is a vlecro suit. (proceeds to tear open shirt front--audience
goes berserk) It also has velcro all the way down, too. (pretends to tear
whole suit off--more screaming) Is this velcro? (To JW)
JW: No, mine's not, but it says Warner
Bros. inside so that's a good sign.
JL: Did you like doing that? Did you
like doing a live show?
DD: It's a lot of fun and you're doing
it completely live. I mean, unlke this, if I came out and I was so nervous
and threw up, I would think that you'd edit it out, or at least never invite
me back, or something like that. But at Saturday Night Live, there's a five
second delay so right before you go, you look at your body, you hands, and
go, you know, "Don't try anythign funny for the next hour and a half."
JL: Was it nerve-racking to do it in
front of a live audience?
DD: Well, you know, you know, you kind
of forget. You kind of go quickly through the whole thing because you're
suspicious of your body parts rebelling against you.
JL: 'Cause on your show I know, I notice,
well obviously, they bring in a couple of monsters or something or aliens.
I assume when you're doing those scenes, that stuff's added later.
DD: Well, sometimes it is because of
the nature of the schedule. I get a six foot inch--a six foot intestinal
worm, if you could imagine that, and uh, he was strapped in a tube and I
had to have a reaction shot for this. There's a guy, well he was hot in the
suit, so he got precedence over me, so he got to go home and get out of his
rubber suit, and I had to react to an empty tube. So, not wanting to overplay
it, I kinda went like, "Mmmhmmm (nods head)." And then later on, here's this
SIX FOOT INTESTINAL worm and I see it and it the most amazing thing and there's
no way in the world...(he re-enacts the reaction shot). "Hey it's another
one of thos goddamned six foot intestinal worms." (Laughter)
JL: Do you see the intestinal worm before
you shoot the shot or do they just say, you know, "There's gonna be an intestinal
worm."?
DD: Well, if you're lucky, you get to
see him, meet him, have lunch with him. (Laughter)
JL: The other thing I wanted to ask you
about was your dog. I read something about your dog likes to lick you feet,
do you know what I'm talking about?
DD: Uh, yeah, you know, I was doing an
interview on the phone once and my dog happened to be licking my feet just
at that one time, she never did it again. But this woman has written that
my dog is a foot-licker now which is just not true. (Laughter) And this caused
a lot of pain in my family.
JW: You could sue.
DD: That's right, I was thinking that.
JL: David, it was nice to meet you, please
come out again and congratulations on the tremendous success of your program.
DD: Thank you. (Applause)
