The Rosie O'Donnell Show
October 14, 1997

Rosie O'Donnell: He stars in The X-Files in which he battles killer shadows, giant worms, and monsters that can suck your face off. This Friday he takes on the criminals of LA in his new movie Playing God. Please welcome back to the show, newlywed David Duchovny.

[As David enters, theme of The X-Files plays. Audience cheers and applause.]

RO: Well, hello David.

David Duchovny: Hi Rosie.

RO: How are you?

DD: I'm great.

RO: Great to see ya.

DD: I'm glad to be back home.

RO: And congratulation on the wedding.

DD: I don't wanna tease you, but I have something to show you here.

RO: What do you got there?

DD: Something about a guy you've been talking about behind my back. [Shows Rosie a copy of the Nov. 97 issue of GQ Magazine in which he appears on the cover as one of the Men of the Year. Also on the cover is Tom Cruise, the subject of intense fascination by the host.]

RO: Give me that.

DD: Do you want to maybe show that to people.

RO: No.

DD: Do I have to pry it out of her hands now?

RO: GQ Men of the Year. My Tommy, Grant Hill, and David Duchovny.

DD: We had such a great time shooting this, because we were in actually three separate cities.

RO: Oh, really?

DD: No, we were all together there, but I never met either one of them.

RO: You didn't?

DD: Don't we seem to get along very well?

RO: You mean you had to stand there and pretend?

DD: Well, I'm not a big smiler, and the photographer kept going, "It's gonna be Tom Cruise. He's gonna be doing that." So look how uncomfortable I am. Look at that. That's me trying to smile. It's like --.

RO: Let me take a look again.

DD: I'm getting a little pissed off about this.

RO: Are you? [David snatches the magazine away from Rosie.]

RO: I'm sorry. You know I've got a special thing. [Plays a bar from one of the songs in The Who's Tommy.] He's my guy.

DD: I don't get it. Are there any David songs? Can you get obsessed with me perhaps? [Rosie plays two lines from "Davy Crocket" which goes "Davy, Davy Crocket/ King of the wild frontier."]

RO: That'd be you.

DD: I used to actually sing that song.

RO: Did you?

DD: I had the hat. And do you remember David and Goliath?

RO: Yes I do. The morning cartoon.

DD: [Imitates Goliath.] "Davy." Nobody remembers that thing.

RO: I do. Claymation. Remember? On Sunday morning. [Imitates Goliath too.] "Davy, mom wouldn't want you to go outside."

DD: [Imitates Goliath again.] "Davy, mom wouldn't want you to do crack cocaine."

RO: Davy and Goliath in the 90s. Well, congratulations on being one of the Men of the Year.

DD: Thank you. I don't know exactly what it means.

RO: It means you're hot and you're happening.

DD: It does. I have my own song. Can you give it to me one more time?

[Rosie plays "Davy Crocket" again.]

RO: That's you. Can I say one thing? I'm very disappointed that "The X-Files" premiere isn't on until November 2nd. What is that about?

DD: Well, we did the movie this year. Normally, we start shooting the show in mid-July, but because we were doing the movie, we didn't get a chance to start 'til September. As a result, you have to watch the World Series until November.

RO: I thought maybe they just did that, because you guys weren't available.

DD: Yeah. It will be just 21 shows this year instead of 24.

RO: Wow. Will it be the last season like everybody is saying?

DD: No, I don't think so.

RO: There will be more.

DD: Yeah. Actually, I'm signed for 43 years.

RO: You got a good deal. Nice work there.

DD: Right.

RO: We have the same agent.

DD: That's right.

RO: Now, I was up in Vancouver when you were doing the pilot. Remember?

DD: Yeah, you were doing "Another Stakeout."

RO: You and I at the Lounge. Having a couple.

DD: They still have a shrine to you there.

RO: They do. As they should. Many a night singing at the piano bar.

DD: It's just that seat there.

RO: Remember when I was always in.

DD: But you can sing.

RO: David, I love you for saying that. It's a lie, but I love you for saying that.

DD: No, I love people who can sing. You can actually sing.

RO: Well, I enjoy singing.

DD: Well, that comes through. Unfortunately, we don't so much enjoy the activity of you singing.. No, we do actually.

RO: I thought you were going to say we don't enjoy listening. You sort of did.

DD: I didn't meant to say it.

RO: That's OK. It's alright. I'm over it.

DD: You're a lovely singer.

RO: How's your lovely wife, Tea Leoni?

DD: She's great.

RO: Congratulation on that. You're so secretive. You got away with it. I know I did an interview with a woman, Mim Udovich, a writer, and she kept saying to me in the interview, "Is anything happening in your life? Is anything big? Is anything happening in your life?" And I'm like, "Why?" Because you did an interview with her. Did you look straight into her eye and lie?

DD: Well, I looked at Barbara Walters straight in the face and lied, because Barbara Walters said to me we were doing an interview the day I was going to get married "Okay, just promise me you're not going to get married or have children in the next month." I said, "I promise."

RO: Big liar.

DD: I was a huge liar. I mean, it's hard to lie to Barbara Walters.

RO: I'm sure it is. I've never done it.

DD: We wore a disguise to go get the marriage license. You have to wait 24 hours to get married. You can't run off and get married. It's like buying a gun. You have to have a cooling off period, so we had to get the license 24 hours before we were going to get married. I didn't want people to know I was getting married, so I wore -- here, you might want to show that. Master of Disguise.

[David hands Rosie a photograph of both David and Tea. David is wearing a fake mustache and a hat. Tea with just sunglasses.]

RO: Yeah, you look like Gabe Kaplan.

DD: That's me there. [Points to Tea.]

RO: That'd be you. Now, why didn't she have a disguise? She's very recognizable.

DD: She doesn't think she is.

RO: But she is.

DD: She thought she'd do the reverse psychology. "That looks exactly like Tea Leoni, so it couldn't possibly be her."

RO: It couldn't possibly be her. Just another good looking woman going to get married. You have a new movie. We'll talk about it after this.

[Commercial.]

[After the commercial break, David talks about his movie Playing God. A clip from the movie was shown as well.]

RO: Now, have you ever had surgery yourself?

DD: Sadly, yes. I hurt my eye playing basketball. I got poked in the eye. And I had what's called you're gonna laugh. I guarantee you're going to laugh a ruptured sphincter.

RO: That's in the eye? I didn't think it was there. I thought it was in other places.

DD: You have two of them. You have three actually, because you have two eyes and --

RO: So, you ruptured your sphincter?

DD: It's circular like the other, and it closes the eye. It controls the pupil. I ruptured mine. I also had a cataract from the force of the blow. So I had to have my lens replaced. Synthetic lens put in. So I was put under, but not totally under. You're in this kind of twilight. There were two doctors, my doctor and another guy. He was talking to the other doctor like he'd never done the surgery before. It's like, Well, look at that. "What do you normally do with that." I don't know. I like to tie in a knot or tie in a bow or whatever. I was half awake, but I was so happy on the Demorol. I said, "I thought you guys did this before." I thought it was the funniest thing that they were operating on me. They've never done it.

[Rosie recalls the time she had knee surgery and swears Smurfs were coming down from the ceiling. At the end of the interview, Rosie gives David a Rosie O'Doll which he mentions that the next time she has surgery she will imagine those coming down from the ceiling. He then plays with the hair on the doll and restyles it.]

RO: David Duchovny. Go see Playing God. It opens this Friday. And watch The X-Files on November 2nd.